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Why do Avoidants ignore you?
If your boyfriend ignores you or gives you the silent treatment and has an avoidant or anxious-avoidant attachment style, he's likely pulling away because he feels himself getting closer to you and is afraid of that commitment. All of these scenarios may allude to an anxious-avoidant or avoidant attachment style.
Consequently, why do avoidants run away?
But because of their childhood wounds, they find it more difficult to face disappointment and betrayal than other people, so they tend to guard their feelings and do all they can to avoid being hurt in their relationships. They are not running away from love, they are running away from pain. What are avoidant attachment styles attracted to? Avoidant people tend to be playing hard-to-get, and anxious people are pursuing them. The nice thing is it's compatible.
Will no contact work?
So yes, the no contact rule works-even if you're the one who has been dumped. Whether your ultimate goal is for them to eventually reach out or for them to be out of your mind completely, going no-contact is a necessity to ensure you move forward with peace of mind. Does an avoidant ever change? People with an avoidant attachment style usually are not capable of changing on their own. Some manage to change after years of talk therapy and/or cognitive-behavioral therapy. If you are in any kind of relationship with a person with an avoidant attachment style, you cannot expect much in return.
Can two Avoidants be together?
Avoidants often pair off with either Secure or Anxious-Preoccupied partners. They tend not to mate with other Avoidants. This is a rare pair. The Dismissive won't have their ego fed the way an Anxious-Preoccupied spouse would. In respect to this, how can we break the cycle of avoidant partners? Break Up or Continue On? Take ownership for their own attachment needs and strategies. Take responsibility for the ongoing work of both self-growth and relationship growth. Remain willing to experiment repeatedly with ways to meet both self and other. Find ways to access an internal home base and witness internal pain.
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